The Most Important Post I Will Ever Write

No, this is not clickbait. I truly believe these are the most important words that I will ever send out. (Which is why this post is not hiding behind any metered paywall.)

I’m asking you to share this piece with others, or just talk about it with your friends and family.

We’ll dispense with the witty banter and humor some other time, not here. Not today.

This post is going to be about mental health and how we make ourselves sad…depressed even.

Photo by Guillaume Bolduc on Unsplash

Let me ask you a question:

What was the common factor on all those days when you felt down, hopeless, and sad?

To be honest, I should have asked “Who…”

Because the common factor is YOU.

You were all about you.

You thought about YOUR LIFE and where you’re headed.

Somebody broke up with YOU…hurt or insulted YOU in the most undeserved way.

YOU lost an election.

YOU failed the exam.

YOU are being taken for granted at work.

YOU are disrespected by your family.

YOU don’t have this car.

YOU think you deserve more followers, likes, and hearts on social media.

It’s all about YOU.

Speaking of social media…

Ever wondered why you felt sad after scrolling?

Because, irony of ironies, while social media gives you a peak into the lives of others, it shoves a magnifying glass on your own.

“Oh, YOU didn’t go on this vacation.”

“YOU sure have no partner as hot and as funny as this.”

“YOUR house looks nothing like this.”

“YOU will never taste food like this.”

It puts YOU in the spotlight and compares YOU with others. And it won’t be long before you begin to mentally nod in agreement, admitting “Yeah, I’m not like that. My life’s nothing like that.”

And then you become sad. Desperate. Hopeless.

Every time you think about YOU, every time you compare yourself (negatively) to others you get disappointed and depressed.

So what’s the solution?

STOP THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF.

(Okay, since this is really the most important sentence in this piece, let’s say that again: Stop thinking about yourself.)

A friend of mine, easily the happiest person I have ever met, told me to my face, “You are sad because you are selfish and self-centered. You’re me, me, me.”

After bouts of denial and disgust, I have since agreed. (Not to mention the curious convergence of what psychology, religion, and philosophy have to say on the matter.)

Want to stop being sad, depressed, and lonely?

Stop thinking of yourself!

Okay.

“And then what?!”

You turn your gaze on others.

Ask questions like:

How can I be of help?

How can I uplift the lives of those who are worse off?

What things can I do to benefit them (even if it does nothing for me)?

Is there somebody in the office who needs a pat today?

What struggles could members of my family be experiencing right now? How can I ease it?

As it turns out, “self-care” is about others.

You burnt out thinking of yourself too much. (You think a spa day can heal that?)

Pay attention to others.

Photo by Wasa Crispbread on Unsplash

Try it.

You’ll be happier.

You’ll be more content and be more grateful for the things that you have. And then you’ll have that energy and that spring in your step.

Don’t just trust me on this one. Try it for yourself.

There. I’ve said my piece.

Please feel free to write your thoughts and experiences in the comments.

I wish you happiness.

Share it with others.

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The Fumbling Generalist

The Fumbling Generalist

1.6K Followers

I write about random things that I feel suddenly passionate about. And I’m man with many passions. (About 204,753 of them…and counting!)